MISSING?
by ShNLo
Summary: When GIR is left behind in a freak incident, he gets picked up by the most unlikely person possible. As ZIM tries to get him back, GIR discovers the fun of being kidnapped. Sortof.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Invader ZIM and all related characters are copyrighted Jhonen Vasquez and Nickelodeon Stuidos, Inc.

**GIR STARED LONGINGLY** through the window of the Department Store. His dog costume's green body pressed against the glass as he drooled over the newest Scary Monkey Merchandise, brand new and hot off the press, sitting in the store window on sale.

ZIM growled and tugged at GIR's leash. "Come, GIR! Stop wasting your mind on that _horrible_ monkey!" He forcefully pulled GIR away from the window, who feebly tried to hold on to the cement. However, the way his costume was built, it was near impossible.

"But I _need_sthe Scary Monkey Show. I needs it good."

ZIM gave him a disgusted snort. "You're delving yourself too deep in the filthy pig-human's cultures. I'll need to fix that when we get home."

People stared at ZIM as he walked by. After the episode with the downed Voot Runner and the Death Bee, ZIM had donned a new disguise, one somewhat less conspicuous and one less noticeable. Or so it was to ZIM.

ZIM had pasted a large, red nose to the middle of his face, and a rather large wig of rainbow-colored curly hair sat askew on top of his head. His bright clothes attracted the gaze of children all over the place as he passed.

"What are you looking at, slimy worm babies!" ZIM exclaimed loudly. People halted in their tracks and stared at him.

ZIM stood there for several minutes before screaming his head off and running in the opposite direction, leaving GIR behind.

Gaz walked by just then, deeply immersed in her Game Slave 2. GIR gave a loud "MEOH!" and jumped onto her head. Gaz took absolutely no notice and continued to walk on, as GIR sat on her head, smiling happily and playing with a pig.

**SOME HOURS LATER** ZIM finally reached his front doorstep, leaning against the purple and blue "MENS" door as he panted and gasped for breath. "Nice work, GIR…" ZIM wheezed, standing back up, the violet eyes of his contacts gazing the ground around him. "We… made… it? GIR? GIR! Come here at once!"

ZIM waited in complete silence. "GIR! GIR! I SAID COME HERE!" he burst, stamping his foot on the ground. And still no GIR came. ZIM hissed in utter Irken frustration and went into the house.

"Just what I need on this planet," ZIM muttered, "No robot slave to do my bidding. I'll just have to find him, I suppose."

**ABOUT THE SAME **time as ZIM, Gaz reached the Membrane household and slammed the door shut. GIR jumped down from her head and proceeded to dig a hole in the carpet, kicking up pieces of wood and metal from the floor. When he had made a suitable hole he jumped inside it and pulled out a piece of faux carpet and covered the hole.

Gaz walked over to the couch and plopped herself on it, setting down her Game Slave 2 to pick up the remote. Flipping through the channels and finally selecting the month's special on Vampire Tree Frogs, she settled back.

She sat in the comfy couch for five whole minutes before she realized something was missing. "DIB!" she screamed loudly, various decorations in the living room wobbling with the ferocity of her voice.

Dib appeared almost at once, looking very much annoyed at being interrupted in his 'Planning-of-the-plot-against-ZIM' stage. "What is it now, Gaz?" he said, looking at the TV in time to see one Vampire Tree Frog eating another. He shivered.

"Dib, get me a soda. And some popcorn." Gaz looked at him in her most impatient way, staring at him through slits in her eyelids.

Dib crossed his arms. "You get it."

Gaz's left hand balled up into a fist and began to shake. "I said… Get me a soda, Dib. _Now_. Or you will face a horrible, suffering death."

Dib stared at her and opened his mouth to retaliate.

"Monstrous… suffering…"

He shut his mouth and hastened to obey.

And all this time, no one noticed the little green dog costume peeping out of a hole in the floor.

**BACK AT THE **base, ZIM groaned as he realized it was time to report to his leaders, the Almighty Tallest. He loved his dear leaders so, but he didn't have time, seeing as how he had to find GIR and all…

But ZIM knew the penalty for not contacting his leaders. Instant exile. He pressed a large green button on his keyboard and waited, twiddling his thumbs in the most bored manner he could think of.

Tallest Purple's face appeared on the screen, biting his lip to keep in laughter. The sound of Tallest Red's uproarious mood came floating almost eerily from the speakers on the computer.

"W-what is it now, ZIM?" Purple choked, trying very hard to keep from laughing as memories of ZIM's past reports came flooding unwelcomingly into his mind.

"My Tallest, it was time for the monthly report, so I thought I'd call in and let you know that all is fine and well – "

Red's face suddenly appeared on the screen beside Purple's.

"Where's your – " he snorted with laughter as he choked out the next few words, " – your _Advanced Robot_?"

Purple had to whack himself on the head hard to keep himself from laughing. "Yes, Z-ZIM, I thought your robot was always by your side?"

ZIM fidgeted. "Well, you see, My Tallest, I, uh, sorta… lost him."

This was too much for the Tallest. As they hooted with uproarious laughter, a "PLEASE STAND BY" screen appeared, with the Irken logo showing behind the words.

Several minutes passed before both their faces appeared back on the screen, red in the face from laughing. "Y-you lost it?" Purple stammered, giggles choking his words.

ZIM took this in a bad sense. "Yes, My Tallest, but it's not that difficult, I can get him back. I'm an unstoppable genius, you know."

The Tallest bit their lips almost to bleeding point as they cried "Yes, yes, okay ZIM! See you next month!" quickly and shut off the transmission.

A/N: Well, here's the first installment in my new story. It's gonna be pretty weird, but, ah, I hope you'll stay with it. By the way... of what would you like to see more of as the story progresses? -Wink- I like to have feedback. Who knows. I might use one of YOUR ideas in my story.


	2. Chapter 2

"**Not compatible!" Zim** screamed in frustration. "I have GIR's tracking chip right here, WHAT DOES IT MEAN, NOT COMPATIBLE! GRRR RRR RR!" He kicked the piece of machinery with his black-booted foot, before screaming in hysterical pain and hopping around the room, screaming curses and threats to the pig-headed machine.

He needed to find his robot before worrying the tallest further! "Stupid computer, I SAID, FIND GIR'S COORDINATES!"

The computer gave a hissing sigh. "I told you, the chip is not compatible with my processor."

"THEN GET A NEW PROCESSOR!"

"I can't."

"And why NOT!" Zim asked impatiently. "I am your MASTER, and you will OBEY ME! OBEY MEEEE! For I am ZIIIIM!"

The computer sighed again and answered in a dull voice, "I can't get a processor myself. I can't move from the base." The computer thought for a moment, and was about to add "Idiot.", but thought better of it and just sat there.

Zim placed his green Irken-ish chin on his gloved palm and thought this out to the utmost extent. "Hmmm… Well, I'll just have to see if I can buy a processor from the filthy human worms. Computer! Disguise!"

A thin, silver tube came down over Zim's head. As it lifted back up, smoke billowed out of it. And when the smoke cleared, there stood Zim, looking absolutely ridiculous in his clown costume.

The computer snickered.

"What, what?" Zim asked, annoyed, staring at the computer through his contacts (which were multi-colored, by the way).

The computer giggled abit before mumbling "Nothing." Zim gave a disgusted snort and exited the lab through the elevator, adjusting the again-askew wig.

**Meanwhile, back at** the ranch (Ehehehe, I just had to say that), Dib and Gaz sat watching the Vampire Tree Frog special together. It interested Dib because they were vampires, and vampires being paranormal; it interested Gaz only because she got to watch the Tree Frogs sucking people's blood and eating each other. The goriness in it pleased her oh-so-very-much.

As it cut to commercial break, Dib stood up and was about to wander off into the kitchen to get another soda when something green, hairy, and with a zipper fell on top of his head, screaming a war-cry and banging on his head with it's fists, which were giving off a metallic ring.

He screamed in sheer horror, and Gaz stared at him angrily. "Dib, shhh! Bloaty's Pizza Hog's commercial is on!" she growled, before turning back to the TV with rapt attention.

Dib stared at her while the green-and-black thing chewed on his spiked hair. When a large drop of saliva fell onto his glasses and brought him back to reality, he reached up and took a firm hold on the thing. He pulled and pulled, and the thing finally came off (with a chunk of his hair, of course). What appeared to be a dog made of a crudely sewn costume with an exposed zipper waved at him cheerily. When it opened it's mouth and screamed "WHEEE-HOO! HI THERE!" the tip off of Dib's spiked hair fell out of it's mouth.

Dib dropped it in surprise for the fact that it talked. "Y-you spoke!" he stammered.

Gaz turned to him. "I told you, Dib, be QUIET. They're gonna show the Tree Frogs eating a pig."

The show had come back on, with only Gaz to notice it; Dib sighed loudly, picked up the dog (who was now screaming about the pig on TV being eaten by Tree Frogs), and headed upstairs to his room.

He set the dog on his bed, where it promptly started rolling around in his blankets. When it finally stopped, it fell off the bed, tangled up in the dark blue covers, screaming joyfully.

A/N: I know this chapter is short, but I'm kinda at a loss for words right now. It's extremely funny writing this and thinking up nutty things to say, but I think the Scary Monkey's got a grip on my thinking cord. OH THE HORROR.


End file.
